The Doorbell rings, and the post woman is waiting downstairs with a box, a crumpled up box that looks like it’s been kicked around like a football. I run downstairs to meet her, she speaks only French but I know this is the package my sister sent me months ago. The address label reads “Nan-c” so there is no doubt this is the package. The post woman hands me a receipt that I must surrender €37,43 to accept it, so I fumble through my wallet and miraculously have the exact amount. She is also elated as she carries no money. She hands over the lopsided, crumpled brown box and I run back upstairs to rip it open to find the long lost contents.
Two months before, I was sent a letter from the Douane (customs) regarding a package from the USA. I took the letter to the post office assuming I would sign for it and possibly pay a tax. to my surprise, they informed me I needed to call the Douane and so I did. The box contained a birthday gift as well as some money my sister owed me from our last USA rendezvous. The Douane grilled me about the content, cost etc of the package and if I had the receipt. I graciously explained it was a gift from my sister in Alaska and because it was a birthday present I was clueless to it’s worth. I wanted to yell “MY ONLY BIRTHDAY GIFT that I get and now I have to now pay forit too? ”, but I just answered his questions and told him I would forward his requests to my sister.
Five weeks passed and no sign of the box, so I call again and the Douane answers they have not received any information. I call my sister and she grumbles that she sent it but will do so again. At this point, knowing that there are Dollars stashed in the box too, I have given up hope. Perhaps the box mysteriously gets lost? Someone gets a little cash? Thus, I do,what I have learned to do and that is “ Let go”.
A few weeks before that, as I was getting ready for bed, I looked down at my right hand ring finger and the ring that I wore daily since 1988 no longer had the beautiful sparkling diamond glistening in it. I jumped up and starting scouring my apartment for a little diamond. I looked everywhere. Opened the vacuum cleaner, you name it, but no avail. The next morning I went to the local gym asked them if they found anything as well as eagle eyed the weight room. Nothing. Then I went to my work and did the same as well as opened their vacuum cleaner and emptied all its dusty contents. NO NO NO, I was an official loser. This ring, besides it’s monetary worth had an emotional tie and even though the situation that is was given to me had changed, I still embraced it’s beauty and knew it would be the only diamond I would be given. “Let it go” came pounding to my head once again.
At this moment, I am in possession of the “lost parcel” from America. The box is smashed and ripped but still sealed. I take the scissors and open it with curiosity. Not because of what the gift is but the chance that it will have the money in there too? I pull out a beautiful turquoise pullover fleece hoodie that I instantly fall in love with. When you live in Belgium , fleece hoodies for a sporty woman like me, bring out tbe inner cozy happiness. Inside the hoody's folds, I found an envelope. The envelope was sealed and had a handwritten message “TOP SECRET” . I opened it and so my surprise was the money. I started laughing until I cried and took pictures of the crazy box for my sister to see. I knew we would be laughing uncontrollably. That was one “Let go” I could take back.
These are just the little “let go’s”. I’ve am an experienced pro by now.
A year and a half ago, I accepted a responsibility that would limit my freedom. Although deep in my heart I knew it would be an unthankful and messy task, my morals and loyalty overrode my gut and hoped the situation could blossom. By no surprise, it ended horribly but at least I stood for my morals and fulfilled a promise I made when I married for the second time. The result of that fiasco was the final “Let go” of that old life and pushed me out the door to search a new one.
No, it is not easy. I have come to think of myself as the “luckiest unluckiest person" I know. Lucky I have freedom to live my lifestyle but unlucky there is a void.
So all I ask is 2017, let’s make a deal to “Let 2016 Go” …..
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