1 year ago today....

Like most November days in Belgium, the short daylight hours were filled with gray skies and a bit of rain. Nonetheless, the atmosphere was quite the opposite. We had moved into the house Yves built just 4 days before. We were literally on overdrive. Last minute finishes to make the house livable, last minute suit and ring buying as well as celebrating the 10th birthday of his daughter Jolien. Once again a full agenda and once again we scurried about. To my surprise, Yves bought me a beautiful white rose bouquet just like the kind a bride holds in fairy tales. He always thought of the details and I appreciated his romanticism.

We were to keep the event low key as we hadn't enough time to plan and prepare for a wedding party. The stress of Yves working full time while building the house, as well as all of lives other responsibilities, gave us a full work load. We were on a time schedule to get out of the apartment and into the new place and Yves was the master of "Overdrive".

Once we got things more in order we planed to have a Trouwfeest (wedding party) in the late spring or early summer to celebrate our marriage with our friends..We needed time and not to forget, $$$. By then we would be more settled.

I recall feeling a bit nervous while waiting for our 'Best Men' (witnesses) to arrive to our house. This was it! We were getting married! Just a year and half earlier we had met and were sharing stories in Aprica, Italy and who would have thought?

Soon after, our friends arrived and we partook a cordial drink to soothe the nerves. Then it was off to the Gemeentehuis for the civil ceremony. As we walked in we noticed that above the door to the conference room our names were illuminated on the overhead screen. There it was, we were on the Heusden Zolder official agenda.

As we all sat before the officiator and her translators, the room was silent yet warm. This was our day, November 5, 2010.. The children sat patiently behind us as our witnesses and their partners sat at our sides. One of my dear students, Ria surprised me, as she came impromptu and took many photographs. For that, I am forever thankful. I had no idea it would be less than a year we would share as man and wife.

Hence we took our vows, exchanged our rings and signed all the necessary documents. As a symbolic gesture, the officiator had the children sign as well. Their "first" official signatures were a declaration of their Papa's and mine marriage. I was and always will be honored.

Today I sit alone with these photo memories of what now seems like a dream. A very very nice dream at that. I was lucky to have my Cinderella moment and I will cherish it forever, but today I will admit I wish I could still live that fairytale.

I know tomorrow is a new day, and I will be a bit lighter as the weight of my loss is slowly falling away. Life awaits us all and I learned that a long time ago, it doesn't come to you, you must seek it out. So in time, when I am ready, I will charge ahead with my eyes and heart open. In the meantime I ponder and scribble.